


Liar Dance

by PlagueOfSquid



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Incest, Insecurity, M/M, Pre-Thor (2011), Self-Esteem Issues, not really all that shippy, still pretty cute anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-07 22:31:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15917592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlagueOfSquid/pseuds/PlagueOfSquid
Summary: “I was messing around with a truth spell and I think it backfired.”Thor let go. He had to. He was laughing too hard to hold onto Loki anymore. This was beautiful. Loki, forced to tell the truth.“It’s not funny!” Loki hissed, his cheeks blushing red. “If father finds out, there will be Hel to pay.” He wasn’t supposed to be experimenting with magic on his own, not since the last time. The guards were still finding snakes in some of the disused corridors.





	Liar Dance

**Author's Note:**

> Thor and Loki are roughly the Asgardian equivalent of teenagers here, whatever that would be.

As great as being the god of thunder was, sometimes Thor couldn’t help but be jealous of his brother.

Thunder was wonderful. It was the fury of battle given physical form, the crashing of sword and shield, the hot spurt of blood and the bellows of dying men. And it felt even better, the sparks curling around his body like a second skin, every muscle charged with energy. But it wasn’t exactly versatile. Thunder didn’t help much with his studies, for example. There were plenty of situations where just zapping someone wasn’t an option, no matter how badly Thor wanted it to be. And those were the kind of situations where Loki excelled.

When they were younger, Thor had thought himself much more fortunate than Loki. His powers were straightforward and evident since his birth. Loki on the other hand, his gifts had taken a little while to manifest and a while more for other people to notice. Plenty of kids lie, but none of them lied quite like Loki. He did it as easily as breathing and even the truth seemed less plausible than his lies. Lying was an art to him, and what a useful art it was.

Loki had lied about everything when he was little. Everything, from really obvious stuff to tiny details that didn’t even matter in the first place. He had been the sort of kid who would look someone in the eyes and insist the sky was purple with green stripes. That had lessened as he grew, but it still happened sometimes. These days, Loki was much more likely to lie for a reason, usually his own selfish ends. Not at all like Thor. He only used his gifts for the glory of Asgard. Which of course included building a reputation for himself. He was a prince after all, the royal family needed to keep up appearances.

The point was, Loki lied constantly. His gift had gotten the two of them out of trouble more than a few times. It was invaluable for a pair of young princes hoping to escape the watchful eye of their father and at this point, it was more surprising when Loki actually told the truth.

And right now, Thor was hoping for one of those rarities.

He had woken up that morning to find his wardrobe almost entirely empty. There were still a few items left and he’d put them on before they could disappear as well, but that didn’t really leave many options for tomorrow. He’d lived with Loki long enough to know that his brother definitely had something to do with this, so after a quick breakfast he headed for the library to find him. Loki wouldn’t tell him outright of course, but he would probably give some kind of cryptic hint and through a combination of puzzling over it himself, asking their mother for help, and just bugging Loki until he got tired of the game, he would find his missing clothes eventually.

Sure enough, Loki was in the library, reclining with his feet up on a table just like Frigga always told him not to, two legs of his chair off the floor and his nose stuck firmly in a dusty old book. Thor couldn’t understand what his brother saw in reading. There was no glory in the past and no battles to be won with ink and parchment.

He paused for a second and knocked on the open door to get Loki’s attention. His brother hated being surprised, especially while he was reading. Loki looked up and smiled. “What an occasion. Have you finally learned to read, brother?”

Thor let the taunt hang in the air unanswered. He’d heard much worse. “It seems that a large amount of my clothes have gone missing overnight. Would you happen to know anything about it?”

“I’ve been stealing your clothes one piece at a time for the last month. Wanted to see how long it would take you to notice. They’re buried in mother’s garden, behind the rosebush.”

What followed was silence and then a crash as Loki’s chair fell over with him in it. Loki leapt to his feet, his eyes frantic, the book left where it had fallen. “Thor, tell me what I just said.”

“That you stole my clothes and buried them in the garden.” It was a lie of course. Probably one of Loki’s better tales. Almost sounded like something he would actually do.

Loki buried his face in his hands. “Oh Norns, please. Please no.”

“Is something wrong?” Thor asked, stepping closer. He tried to put an arm around his brother’s shoulders, but Loki jerked away and something close to fear crossed his face.

“N- no, I-“ It seemed like Loki was having trouble forcing his lips to form words. At least, not the ones he wanted to say. “I did- I didn’t- I didn’t- th- there isn’t-“ Whatever he was fighting against, it was a losing battle.

“Brother, calm down.” It was definitely fear now. Loki was scared. “What happened?”

Loki clamped a hand over his mouth and Thor could see the muscles in his arms straining. That didn’t last long and soon enough, the hand slipped away and words came out all at once, in such a jumble that Thor only managed to catch ‘spell’ and ‘mistake’ before his mouth snapped shut again.

This was bad. Thor didn’t know much about magic, but it was dangerous stuff. He grabbed Loki by the shoulders, forcing him to look up. “What did you do?”

“I was messing around with a truth spell and I think it backfired.”

Thor let go. He had to. He was laughing too hard to hold onto Loki anymore. This was beautiful. Loki, forced to tell the truth.

“It’s not funny!” Loki hissed, his cheeks blushing red. “If father finds out, there will be Hel to pay.” He wasn’t supposed to be experimenting with magic on his own, not since the last time. The guards were still finding snakes in some of the disused corridors.

Thor gasped for breath, leaning against a bookshelf for support. “Wh- what was- dear brother, what was the god of lies doing casting a truth spell?”

Loki folded his arms in front of his chest, looking defensive. “I do not enjoy being lied to.”

“Nor do I.” It was too perfect. The Norns had really outdone themselves this time. “So you really did bury my clothes?”

“Yes. I was only curious.” Loki scowled, seemingly at himself. “It took you a whole month to notice.”

“I don’t take the same care you do in selecting outfits.” Thor generally just wore whatever he grabbed first. And this morning that had been empty air, prompting him to actually look in his wardrobe.

Loki looked at him with a strange vulnerability, then shook his head like that would help matters. “I think it’s getting worse. The effects should only be temporary, but I can’t allow anyone to see me like this. Brother…”

The implication was clear. Loki wanted help. He’d made a mistake and now he wanted Thor to help him hide it. Of course, refusing would be nice payback for all the times his brother’s tricks had turned against him, but the last thing anyone wanted was a pissed off Loki following them around. And it would be mean. Loki needed him.

“Alright. You can hide in my room until it wears off.”

—

“Why-“

Loki glared at Thor with an intensity that almost burned. “If you keep asking questions, I’ll turn your hands into spiders.”

Thor rolled his eyes. “You don’t know how to do that.”

“You’re right, I don’t,” Loki said, then gave an exasperated sigh at his own admittance. “Just stop asking anyway. This is already embarrassing enough without you prying into my deepest secrets.”

“So you are hiding something?” Thor couldn’t help it. He was doing what any brother would do, simply refusing to drop the topic.

“I’m always hiding something.”

They were back in Thor’s room, probably the last place most people would check for Loki. The two had long ago established their respective rooms as sovereign territory, a fragile peace that remained constantly in question but one they both fiercely defended. So it was a safe assumption that if Thor was in his room, Loki wasn’t. At least it was safe normally. Right now was a different matter.

Loki sat perched on the bed, glaring down at his brother like some kind of carrion bird. Thor, for his part as the gracious host, had chosen a seat on the floor, his back against the wall. He was well aware how dangerous it would be to piss Loki off any further. Better to just let him sit on the bed and not have to worry about his hair catching fire or something equally annoying.

But this? It was just too good to stop. When else would he have a chance to question his brother and only hear the truth? Never. It was worth whatever punishments Loki inflicted on him later. All he had to do was find the right questions to ask before the spell wore off.

“Why did you want to cast a truth spell?” Thor spoke quickly, forcing the sentence out before Loki could interrupt him again.

“Because I’m tired of being lied to!” The expression on Loki’s face was… strange. The spell was definitely getting worse. He didn’t normally show this much emotion.

“No one dares lie to you, brother. It would be foolish even to try.” It was true. Thor certainly didn’t bother lying to Loki, not when there was any other option. He was just too good at spotting it. Might as well try to pickpocket Heimdall.

Loki shook his head. “You do.” His body had given up fighting his mouth for control and he was just hunched over, like Thor would disappear if he simply didn’t look at him.

Thor tried to remember the last time he’d lied to Loki. Or more accurate, the last time he’d lied to Loki and gotten away with it. Nothing came to mind. “So you were planning to use it on me?”

“You and mother.” This didn’t make sense. Frigga adored her youngest. She would never lie to him. “I wanted to know if you were lying or simply deluded.”

Thor could tell he shouldn’t be pressing this. It was like picking at a scab, except there hadn’t even been any time to heal. “About what?”

“About me.” The words came out small, like Loki was trying to hide them before Thor noticed. “Everybody else can see it but you and her. Sif, the Warriors, even father. They all know.”

Thor opened his mouth to ask again, but Loki kept going all on his own. “I’m worthless. Why won’t you admit it? Are you really that blind?” There were tears in his eyes, angry tears that he wiped away with his sleeve.

“You’re not worthless.” It was all Thor could think to say and he knew it wouldn’t be enough. But for now, he was almost frozen to the spot, watching Loki cry like the child he was.

“I am.” The tears were falling faster and faster, streaming down Loki’s face. “I don’t belong here. Not in the palace, not in Asgard, no- nowhere. Y- you would- you would hate me if only you knew all my flaws.”

Thor got his feet and crossed the short distance between them, pulling Loki into a hug. His brother was cold, cold and small and shaking. “I could never hate you.”

“Y- you should. I’m disgusting.” Loki held tight, his voice soft and burdened with sobs. “Sometimes I- I want to hurt you. I can see it so clearly, the light leaving your eyes. And sometimes… sometimes I want you.”

There was so much need in that one word. Want. How did Loki want him? Was it fear? Possessiveness? Something else entirely? The word felt strange in his ears. Want. It echoed with familiarity and shame, with thoughts that he had never asked to have.

If he wanted to know exactly what Loki meant, all he had to do was ask. The answer would be right there. But he didn’t want to, not really, because want was a comfortable word. It could mean anything and there was safety in its ambiguity. Want didn’t have to be something wrong. It didn’t have to be lust, it could just be want. And if Loki’s want went unnamed, so could his.

Thor tried to push those thoughts out of his mind like he had so many times before. They weren’t right. He couldn’t be rid of them, but they weren’t right. The only way to handle it was to ignore them. No one had to know about his dirtier thoughts, especially not Loki. He was almost glad the truth spell had backfired. What secrets would he have revealed under its power?

Now wasn’t the time to to worry about himself. His brother needed him. Thor ran his fingers through Loki’s hair, trying to mimic the way their mother moved. He wasn’t naturally a comforting person, no, he was much better suited to the battlefield. “No matter what, you will always be my brother.”

His hands felt strange. They didn’t hurt, they were just numb and the feeling was spreading up his arms at alarming speed. Asgard never really got cold, not even in the winter, but it was cold now, like a sudden breeze had blown a window open somewhere. Thor shivered. If he was cold, surely Loki would be too. His brother was smaller and slimmer and even though he always pretended like cold had no effect on him, he would probably appreciate a warm cloak wrapped around his shoulders. Luckily, one of the few items left in his wardrobe was just that. He let go of Loki and stood up, turning away to look for the cloak.

“Always?” Loki asked, and there was still so much uncertainty in his voice. “Do you promise?”

The cloak was tucked away in the back, not really something he wore on a daily basis. Thor slung it over his arm and turned back around. And then all he could do was stare.

His brother was… well, for starters he was blue.

Loki looked down at himself and barely managed to stifle a scream. His skin had… changed. It was a pale blue like nothing Thor had ever seen before, rough and almost scarred in thin lines that curved around his arms and ran up his face. His eyes were red, not just the irises, all red except for his pupils.

There was a faint tingle of pain in Thor’s hands and when he looked at them, the skin was red, raw and shiny like a burn. No wonder he couldn’t feel them. Touching Loki had burned him. No, not a burn. He was cold, so very cold. Frostbite.

“Brother, what’s wrong with me?” Tears poured out of those red eyes and Loki shook even worse.

Thor was already halfway to the door. “We must tell mother.” His brother could be dying as far he knew. There was no time to worry about getting in trouble, not with something like this. Loki’s illusions looked plenty real, but they couldn’t even be touched. This had managed to freeze Thor’s skin on contact.

“No!” Loki pleaded, springing up from the bed and grabbing the back of Thor’s tunic. “It- it doesn’t hurt. Not even a little. Please, don’t tell! Father…”

Thor hesitated. Loki couldn’t lie, so it really must not hurt. He was so cold, but he didn’t seem sick or anything. “How does it feel?”

“Good. Natural.” Loki looked horrified under this strange mask. “Like it’s how I’m supposed to be. Thor, the spell…”

It had been a truth spell and so far, the results had aligned with that fact. Loki couldn’t lie. He couldn’t even stop himself speaking and hide the truth. So it stood to reason that this was true as well.

“What are you?” The words slipped out before Thor could close his mouth.

Loki looked around frantically, grabbing a hand-mirror off a nearby chest of drawers. He stared into it like a window into another world, like he watching something horrible.

This couldn’t be right. Loki was his brother. Sure, he had always looked a little different from the rest of the family with his dark hair and pale complexion, but that didn’t mean he was really something different. He was Asgardian just his parents and his brother.

Frost crept up the back of the mirror as Loki gazed into it, tracing out the lines on his cheeks with a finger. There was something familiar about it all and for once, Thor wished he had paid better attention during lessons. “The spell,” Loki said, barely more than a whisper. “It only shows the truth. I’m…”

Thor shook his head. “You messed it up, remember? Maybe you accidentally cast something else instead.”

Loki wasn’t listening. He bared his teeth, revealing twin curved fangs. “I’m… I’m a Frost Giant.”

“No way.” Frost Giants were supposed to be, well, giants. Loki wasn’t even that tall for an Asgardian. “You’re too short.”

“I read once that sometimes… some Jotuns are born weaker than the others. Runts.” This was his brother all over, leaning on his books for comfort. “They’re born small and never grow properly. It’s rare, but…”

“Mother will know the answer.” Thor took ahold of Loki’s arm, this time careful not to touch his exposed skin. It still felt like plunging his hand into a bucket of ice.

“We can’t tell her. We can’t tell anyone.” Loki wouldn’t look away from the mirror, wouldn’t even budge as Thor yanked at his arm. “Brother, I’m a monster.”

They had both been raised on tales of the war with Jotunheim. It had happened right before Loki’s birth, when Thor was still barely more than an infant. The war had been a success, but it had not come without tremendous cost. The Jotuns were a race of ice, blood, and death, and many Asgardians had fallen, not to mention the countless Midgardians caught up in the struggle. Fields and fields of frozen men, forever trapped in their death throes, left to suffocate as the very moisture in their breath hardened and blocked their throats. The Jotuns had sought to wipe out Asgard, to bring an eternal winter to their shining city, to slay every man, woman, and child in the realm.

And Loki was one of them.

He didn’t look like a monster, still staring at his own reflection through tears. He looked like himself, like the little brother who followed Thor on all his adventures, who could be annoying sometimes and amazing at others, who told the best jokes and played the best tricks and above all, was his responsibility to protect. He looked like Loki.

Thor hugged his brother. It hurt just to touch him, but he did it anyway. He would heal. “I promise.”

“What?” There was so much pain and fear in Loki’s voice, so much that Thor knew he couldn’t protect him from.

“I promise that no matter what, I will always love you.” Thor wasn’t entirely sure what he meant by that. Loki would always be his brother, but love could mean a lot of things. It was another of those comfortably vague words. But maybe Loki would understand.

“I love you too,” Loki said, and for once Thor could be sure it was the truth.


End file.
